This morning I received my lab results back from my PCP. The TSH came back elevated again but the white blood cells were now in a healthy range. Four weeks ago when I went I had just gotten over a cold so they wanted to make sure there weren't any variables.
Anyway, I got the lab results and obviously I start taking my daily pill tomorrow. It's really kind of bittersweet being having been… Diagnosed?… With hypothyroid because it makes so much sense. I've tried so hard to lose weight only to fail. I could sleep for days and never get un-groggy. Plus thyroid is so genetic in my family it's basically a tradition. The general consensus from family reunions seem to be that if you have a female and are part of our clan then your thyroid will be dead by 25. A coming of age if you will.
I am just having a hard time telling myself what to feel. I can't decide what this means. Will I be able to lose weight if I try again? I know I won't be able to use it as a crutch. Will I feel clear and less groggy? Energetic even? What if I still can't lose weight and then everyone knows I'm really just a failure.
Every time I've tried & failed I have told myself it's the thyroid. Since I was a teenager I knew it was stacked against me. I asked them to test me. They never would. It wasnt until I brought in logs of my consistent calorie counting, gym trips and mentioned my terrible mood swings that they finally took me seriously. & I was correct. So why doesnt this feel like a win?
The general consensus for today was to take the opportunity for a fresh, no excuse start to take back my life. So I am going to. This is me pledging to enjoy the little things and strive to better myself physically, mentally & emotionally. relish in the POSITIVE: The windows are open, the air is crisp, the sheets are cold and Erik's gaming so I get to starfish the bed :)
If this is something you can relate to I would love to hear your personal stories on thyroid and how being dx'd impacted your life, if at all, in the comments below. I am trying to avoid the depths of the internet and the negativity that too much time in the medical community pages can bring. worst case scenarios everywhere. yikes.
Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the internet. I am a collector of moments & a lover of all the beautiful “things” in life. These include, but are not limited to; yoga pants, iced tea, cold sheets, lipstick, sunbeams and bokeh. Feel free to mosey about and become acquainted.